Author Topic: Another new forum service is offered to members  (Read 2196 times)

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Offline Wobbly

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Another new forum service is offered to members
« on: December 24, 2019, 09:36:15 AM »
In order to serve our wonderful members and visitors even better, the Original CZ Forum is glad to add yet another service to the long list of reasons to be here.... namely holiday fruitcake disposal.

If you received a Fruitcake from your great aunt and now feel saddled with the immense responsibility to properly dispose of it, then fret no longer. There's absolutely no need to worry about the EPA, CDC, or FDA swooping down in the middle of the night dressed in bio-hazard suits to cordon off your block. No need to worry about what harm it might bring to the little ones. No need to worry about lingering contamination of the premises. No need to worry about legal liability and law suits from your neighbors. Simply contact us via PM and mail that fruity lump to the address we'll provide.

The USPS will safely deliver that deadly debacle to the official CZ Forum Fruitcake Reduction Facility. Here, miles from any population center, the hard working professionals of the Original CZ Forum staff will render your fruitcake harmless through our secret process. Rest assured that our process is 100% organic, uses a centuries old bio-degrading process, and no animals will be hurt during the unmaking of said fruitcake.

And best of all, this service is absolutely FREE !!  Remember too, we pay all HazMat fees for you !

So hurry! Be the first one on your block to dispose of your fruitcake the responsible way.
In God we trust; On 'Starting Load' we rely.

wags68

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Re: Another new forum service is offered to members
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2019, 10:50:20 AM »
HAHAHA, love this! 

Offline Vinny

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Re: Another new forum service is offered to members
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2019, 11:11:03 AM »
 ;D So funny and thanks Wobbly for the chuckle.
I'll be on the lookout for the fruitcake squad, sent to us by the US Federal National Department of Redundancy Department.  ::)
Merry Christmas!
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Offline AZ_CZ

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Re: Another new forum service is offered to members
« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2019, 11:17:19 AM »
So in your testing how does fruitcake compare to ballistic gelatin?  What kind of penetration are you seeing with 124 gr 9mm, if any, in fruitcake?
CZ Fanbot since 1996

Offline steerclr

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Re: Another new forum service is offered to members
« Reply #4 on: December 24, 2019, 02:07:33 PM »
Do you know if we have to have a "HASMAT" label on the package, and which one are we supposed to use?
DANGEROUS-CORROISIVE-POSION-FLAMMABLE-or OXIDIZER??

Offline Vinny

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Re: Another new forum service is offered to members
« Reply #5 on: December 24, 2019, 05:10:41 PM »
Do you know if we have to have a "HASMAT" label on the package, and which one are we supposed to use?
DANGEROUS-CORROISIVE-POSION-FLAMMABLE-or OXIDIZER??
First we need MS Sheets with HSN.  ::)
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Offline DenStinett

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Re: Another new forum service is offered to members
« Reply #6 on: December 25, 2019, 04:09:45 PM »
Do you know if we have to have a "HASMAT" label on the package, and which one are we supposed to use?
DANGEROUS-CORROISIVE-POSION-FLAMMABLE-or OXIDIZER??

Luckily it isn't a 'Reportable Quantity"
Although .... some DO weigh a ton !   :o
So tell me again how Trump was worse then the 8 years before .... AND what's coming after HIM !

Offline Wobbly

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Re: Another new forum service is offered to members
« Reply #7 on: December 25, 2019, 05:39:58 PM »
Do you know if we have to have a "HASMAT" label on the package, and which one are we supposed to use?
DANGEROUS-CORROISIVE-POSION-FLAMMABLE-or OXIDIZER??

Flammable... due to all the Rum.    ;D
In God we trust; On 'Starting Load' we rely.

Offline timetofly

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Re: Another new forum service is offered to members
« Reply #8 on: December 25, 2019, 10:56:56 PM »
Will this offer be extended to Panettone?

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Offline HollowDawg

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Re: Another new forum service is offered to members
« Reply #9 on: December 26, 2019, 11:00:14 AM »
I was given a Claxton fruitcake 12 years ago (God save us from monster-in-laws!) and not being foolish enough to fall for the obvious attempt at poisoning, I polyurethaned the awful thing and have used it for a Christmastime doorstop decoration ever since. Mother-in-Law NOT amused so a win-win! :)

Offline Grendel

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Re: Another new forum service is offered to members
« Reply #10 on: December 26, 2019, 12:36:14 PM »
You're too late. I ate mine.

(I actually like fruitcake - don't judge me, I was brought up in an age where it was considered a delicacy)
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Inter arma enim silent leges - Cicero

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Offline Vinny

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Re: Another new forum service is offered to members
« Reply #11 on: December 26, 2019, 01:27:25 PM »
A few years ago we spoofed our family by secretly taping a $50 bill under the fruitcake we entered in the 'Holiday White Elephant Swap'. The poor unwanted fruitcake got passed over by everyone until the very last person got 'stuck' with it.

When we then announced that the 'Lucky' recipient got a $50 bonus underneath; we all had a hearty laugh!
"Fear is a reaction, Courage is a decision"
"Carpe Diem"

Offline timetofly

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Re: Another new forum service is offered to members
« Reply #12 on: December 26, 2019, 03:13:15 PM »
You're too late. I ate mine.

(I actually like fruitcake - don't judge me, I was brought up in an age where it was considered a delicacy)

My Grandmother actually made her own English" style fruit cake.  I know what you are talking about.  Miss good fruit cake.
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Offline eastman

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Re: Another new forum service is offered to members
« Reply #13 on: December 26, 2019, 09:48:20 PM »
You're too late. I ate mine.

(I actually like fruitcake - don't judge me, I was brought up in an age where it was considered a delicacy)

My Grandmother actually made her own English" style fruit cake.  I know what you are talking about.  Miss good fruit cake.

one of my aunts made a Brazil Nut fruitcake that was excellent.
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Offline Wobbly

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Re: Another new forum service is offered to members
« Reply #14 on: January 02, 2020, 06:40:51 PM »
Will this offer be extended to Panettone?


Sure. Why not !!!
In God we trust; On 'Starting Load' we rely.