For what you are looking for, a 1911 seems the best fit. A LOT of replacement sight options and there are short/standard/long reach triggers made for them, to make it a better fit for your hand.
I also have an XL palm with a L or M trigger finger.
The CZ Decockers work fine for me, with the shorter reach CGW trigger installed and THIN grips installed. Or a DA/SA converted to SA only.
A 1911 brand not mentioned is the RIA. I know they don't have the sex appeal of a bunch of others, but I have had great luck with them. I've sold a couple, but still have a few RIA 1911s, and a few 'other' 1911 brands.
My highest quality RIA 1911 is the Tac Ultra FS .45. I had Arnel at RIA replace the barrel bushing and another tweak. After the tweaks, it can produce 3 shots that touch at 15 yards [but not in my hands with my eyes].
If I didn't have a 1911 right now, I'd probably buy their Pro Ultra Match 1911. The fit of the slide to barrel is surprisingly good for the price.
Many will disagree, but I don't believe RIA's 1911s [at the Rock/Tac or Pro levels] are bottom of the barrel. I don't care for the GI though.
Now I have another wild option. Many might think it is bottom of the barrel, but they simply work: Ruger P97DC.
The bad: discontinued around 2005, in favor of the p345- parts are hard/impossible to find, if they break.
The good: recoil springs and magazines still available.
The bad: Weird recoil impulse due to unique [for time] recoil rod/system design.
The good: recoil is very manageable- not as sharp as a polymer gun sometimes is.
The bad: trigger has long takeup, rolling break and long reset [think between semi-auto and revolver].
The good: trigger DA is around 8lbs and SA is at/below 3lbs, with rolling break reducing 'staging' and flinch factor issues found on some pistols that stack just before the break.
Around 2012 I did an impromptu accuracy test of 6 .45acp handguns I had available. These were the Sig P220 Combat, HK USP .45Compact, S&W M&P .45 FS, Springfield Armory Blackened Stainless Loaded 1911, DGFM Sistema 1911 [that I had used as a custom-build platform], and a Ruger P97DC.
I did a 'range' test of 6 quick shots, as soon as I could line the sights up, of 6 different .45acp pistols at the end of my range day. That means I fired them after shooting about 500 rounds that day.
Again, 6 quickly aimed shots after 500 rounds. I know my focus and attention was slipping.
My worst group was the Sig P220 Combat. The group was about 7 1/2". The 6 rounds were spread the length of the 7+ inches-no tight group and a flyer.
My best group was the Ruger P97. The group was about 4 1/8", with 5 of the 6 being within 2 1/2 inches and then a flyer.
The M&P was second best and my Sistema was second worst.
The H&K was just a 1/4" worse than the M&P, which puts both of their groups under 4 3/4".
I was so surprised I tried the test again 3 weeks later.
This time I was better. My Ruger group was still the best at about 3 1/2" and my Sig group was still the worst at about 5 1/8". Again, the Ruger grouped 5 of 6 within about 2" and the Sig was spread across the entire 5+ inches.
A year later, I took the Ruger with me when my dad and I hit the range. He fired it, stopped, gave it a puzzled look, then fired the rest of the magazine. He was more accurate than normal with .45s, but the impulse felt 'odd' to him as well.
So- Odd impulse, but they work VERY well, and you won't be heartbroken if anything happens to it.
Just an off the wall recommendation.
From my experience, the only reason I wouldn't want the P97 for a nightstand gun is the lack of a light rail. Otherwise, I'd trust my life on it.
And, you might find it closer to $300.
Just a well-performing working-class hammer-fired .45 that losing on sex appeal but wins on function.
I still have my p97 and it will probably be my second-to-last .45acp I'll own.