Howdy folks,
I just wanted to add some of my thoughts to an excellent thread. First for the most part I agree with the thoughts/suggestions offered by Mr. Jack Straw. Most, but not all really.
I do think it is important to take the new shooter to an isolated area, where they do not feel pressure from constant noise and other armed folks around them. Over nearly 4 decades now I have been a police firearms instructor for the various departments/agencies I have worked for, in addition to doing my normal law enforcement duties. Because of that, I have often been approached by other officers I worked with, who wanted to get their wives into shooting, primarily for the same concern. When they were working evenings or midnight shifts, or were away attending law enforcement training courses, they wanted to know their wife knew how to grab the handgun that was in their bedroom, and make use of it if required to save herself or other family members.
My first suggestion was - DON'T TRY TO TEACH THEM YOURSELF. I simply feel things will go more smoothly if someone besides the husband is the one working with the spouse, getting them comfortable with a firearm. I also feel there is nothing wrong with starting them off with a handgun of some type. That is about the only point I disagree with Mr. Jack on. I simply do not see any great need or requirement to start them off with a rifle. I do not have an issue with it, but I simply do not feel it has to be started in this manner either. I will simply say in my decades of working with the spouses of other folks, I have simply opted to start all of them off with a handgun.
My second observation is that because you already have handgun A, that does NOT mean that your wife/spouse will feel it fits their hands as well as it fits yours. It may be too large in the grips, the controls to far from their fingers, its manual of arms too complex for them, or even too heavy or too light. Then there is also the issue of caliber to be thrown into the mix as well.
For the average non-shooting wife, I think a revolver is an excellent self-defense weapon. I think a J frame Smith makes an excellent back up weapon. But that said, as a choice of a nightstand handgun, I personally think it leaves a lot to be desired. I hold the view the J frame can be mastered, but it takes some work to do so, and then enough regular practice with it to maintain that proficency level. I shot possible qual scores with mine (ie, perfect scores), but I practiced with mine often to stay sharp with it. I also started off using a revolver as a LEO nearly 40 years ago, so it was not a foreign platform when I picked it as a back up weapon.
But for a nightstand handgun I think it tends to be too small for the average shooter, especially a female who may not want to shoot it as often as needed to be proficient with it. I would suggest a K frame Smith, with round butt grip (so either a grip adapter or compact Pachmayr grips could be added if desired by the wife), with either a 2", 3" or 4" barrel. Who should make the final choice on barrel lenght in my view - the wife. She is the one who will be grabbing it in a pressure filled situation, and only she knows which one seems to balance the best for her.
The average firearms instructor already knows that every handgun does not fit everyone equally. They also realize when technique issues arise on the range, they can often be solved by changing to a different handgun. They also normally have more than a few possible weapons for the new shooter to handle and make initial selections from. I personally think a husband is more inclined to feel "hey I shoot X fine, so I can get my wife to shoot it ok too". Guys I am not trying to throw stones at you at all, just being honest. More than once I stepped in after a husband had been trying to train their wife, and keep hearing I really appreciate your attitude and the way you are talking to me. You don't yell and you keep asking for my feedback on how a gun feels. My husband never did things that way and kept me pissed off while I was trying to learn to shoot.
Guys ask yourself this question and be honest with yourself. Would you teach your wife to drive a motor vehicle? If you said no, then why in the world should you try to teach them to shoot. Just food for thought.
That is why I suggest someone who is a competent firearms instructor start off working with the wife. Either a police firearms instructor or a CCW instructor, but you want them working in a one on one basis, not on an indoor range, unless it is empty except for the two of them. You also want your wife using a handgun that feels good to "them", whatever it is. A good instructor should already have a variety of things handy they can let her shoot. Or ask around among your shooting friends, for various handguns you can borror temporarily to let your wife handle and possible shoot.
But don't limit her to a handgun that you already own. If your wife does not feel comfortable holding the handgun, the odds suggests she will not shoot it well either. To me 95% of shooting properly takes place between the ears, the rest is physical. Any shooter who feel confident holding a handgun is likely to shoot it much better than they will with one they do not feel fits them well.
Also remember the entire purpose of this exercise if to get your wife to the point where she can safely defend herself and your family members, when you are not around. That does not dictate that the handgun has to be loaded with the hottest round that exists. While I advice against anyone carrying FMJ ammo for self defense, and feel a .380acp is simply too light to be an adequate SD caliber, I have no issues with standard pressure lead SWC ammo being used for self defense purposes. There is also a place for wadcutter rounds, if that is all your spouse can master. Remember, we are generally talking about distances across a bedroom (not 15 to 25 yards). At close distances a target wadcutter is a much more effective load than many people would realize.
While I personally prefer a JHP load for self-defense, I have also carried lead SWC and lead HP loads in the past when required to do so. I did not feel poorly armed, I just did not carry the load I preferred. But the bottom line to me is where the rounds are placed are far more important than whether they are standard, +P, or +P+ in muzzle velocity. Over the course of my career, I have been forced more than once to use both standard and +P JHP ammo in deadly force situations. Never once did the badguy complain about the bullet I was using. But my training allowed me to put the rounds where they needed to be to have the desired effects.
I feel the choice of both caliber and ammo level should primarily left up to the person who will be using that weapon in a self-defense situation, meaning here the wife, not hubby. Remember a caliber that you shoot tight groups with, simply might not work at all for her. That said, I do suggest that someone choice the largest caliber they can shoot proficiently, whatever it turns out to be. If that equates to a .38spc or 9mm caliber, I have used both in deadly force situations and am typing as you read this now. So they will do their job as long as the shooter does theirs.
The bottom line is not everyone is comfortable with a handgun too. It may end up that a double barrel shotgun turns into the best choice for a self defense weapon for a wife. Again, only they can make that choice. If that is the case, there are several law enforcement brands of reduced recoil buckshot and slug loads, that at bedroom distances would still be more than effective enough to handle things.
I also agree not to stress the concept of shooting someone from the start. Remember when you first learned to ride a bike, you did it in steps. To me the same principles should be done with teaching a non-shooter to become proficient with a handgun. I also go out of my way from day one, to try to convince them that shooting is fun. I keep saying, hey if you are not having fun, tell me because I am doing something wrong and need to change that. I actually believe in that statement, and mean it when it is said. Sometimes just saying the same thing but with different words is all it takes to make a major difference.
Start them out with standard targets. Those that show clearly when they have been struck are useful in my view, as they give instant feedback to the shooter. At some point, you will want to start using different targets. I have a ton of silhouette targets in my personal inventory, simply because over the years, I normally placed a personal order from the company I was making my office purchases from too. So that I could continue to train with my "current qual targets", whatever they were. At some point you may want to change to a more realistic badguy type target. But I am not of the view that is the first target a non-shooter should start off aiming at. That throws too many things into play at first in my view. You are complicating things at the very point you are striving to keep them "simple".
Do you have to use realistic targets? I am not so sure that you do, but at the same time see nothing wrong with them - once the person is ready to move into them. But again, their feedback is a large part of that change, if and when it is made. Don't forget that the average wife is blessed with a very strong maternal instinct. She will draw upon that when needed in my view. My job is simply to help her develop the skills necessary to make her a proficient shot and understand elements of self-defense shooting. If she is ever faced with a threat to her and her family, I feel that maternal instinct will kick in automatically, without much "pep talk" on my part.
While I have tailored my comments towards getting a wife started in self-defense shooting, I honestly think these suggestions would apply equally to anyone who is a non-shooter. This is an interesting and important topic in my view. I am simply giving you one instructor's point of view. Others may disagree, and that is fine. I am simply making suggestions that have worked well for me over the last 4 decades..
twoguns