Commercial lead bullets are almost always way too hard, and they need to be even larger since they are NOT going to obturate the bore.
I have only used 10-13 BHN when I cast bullets and try to order bullets of the same hardness.
So, I find that for a 0.355" groove, I use 0.356-0.357" bullets of 10-13 BHN. When I tried the current HARD alloy, I had to go up to 0.357-0.358". In fact, for one batch, I had to lightly tumble lube the bullets in LLA to eliminate leading.
So, as my own personal findings, and not to be taken as etched in stone:
1) Always slug the barrel. I tend to slug twice. Once from breech to about 1" in. Then, another slug so I can feel if the slug tightens or loosens as it is pushed through (indicating that the groove diameter varies down the barrel). This has been very important with rifles, as lead bullets don't do well if the groove diameter varies down the bore.
2) Jacketed bullets should be groove diameter. So, if my .223 Remington has a 0.225" groove diameter, I will try 0.225" bullets (SAAMI spec for .223 Rem bullets for the industry for use in all guns is 0.2215-0.2245", but you need to fit YOUR gun, and groove diameter specification is 0.224-0.226"). My Browning Hi-Power has a groove diameter of 0.359" (and they told me it was within specification), so I use 0.357" jacketed bullets and wish I had larger.
3) Lead bullets of 6-13 BHN generally do OK if 0.001" over groove diameter, but a bit larger is often better. In 9x19, I find that being 0.002" over groove diameter works best.
4) Lead bullets of 15-22 BHN sometimes lead if only 0.001" over groove diameter and I always order them 0.002" over groove diameter (i.e., I order .38 lead bullets or special order the "right" diameter).
5) Coated lead, or tumble-lubed in LLA, will generally do fine at 0.001" over groove diameter.
So, for 9x19, I often use .38 jacketed and lead bullets. I start at starting load and have never had a pressure issue. Back when I started loading (early '70s), 9x19 was not popular and about the only bullets available were 0.356" 130gn FMJ-RN for .38 Super and a plethora of .38 bullets and every reloader used .38 bullets for 9x19 without issue?and they ALL started at the starting load and worked up.