Whose desk?
If you watch matches, you'll see the "pros" (and those who wanna be like them) holding their hands together as though they were holding a pistol grip, usually, left hand cupping right, with the thumbs touching and extended, pointing downrange.
One way to practice, which works best dry-firing, is to take a wooden dowel, like maybe 10" - 12" long and that will fit somewhat loosely in the barrel, say, 1/4". If your eyes are pretty good (mine are fading a bit), just paint one end a bright color. Insert it, colored-end out, and practice squeezing the trigger on a snap-cap. If you see the end of the dowel move at all, you need more work.
BTW, a "death grip" is not really what you need. You will never eliminate muzzle snap due to firing, you just want to control it enough that it is all in the vertical plane. The problem you describe comes from either gripping more tightly with your non-trigger fingers in anticipation of the "bang!" or pulling the trigger too vigorously, or at a bad angle.
I am a disciple of Brian Enos, and find that good pressure on the sides of the grip with the heel of the hands, and firm, but not excessive pressure by the fingers works best for me. You may also want to practice with pressing the trigger with different areas of your trigger finger, the tip, the first joint, so on. That will make a big difference, too!
Good luck!
Bill
