How you plan to carry makes a huge difference. Holster carry opens possibilty of 6/7 shot Smiths (686-6shot, 686plus-7shot) or Rugers (GP's or used service or security sixes).
If you actually plan on shooting .357 mag, Ruger SP101 would be first my first choice for a "smaller" snub. It is heavy. Weight helps with recoil. Harder to pocket carry due to weight and 5 shots.
For .38 special, Smith J frames (642, 442), are lighter and offer pocket carry. .38 special+P in pocket carry can get job done. Only 5 shot but easier to carry because of lighter weight.
A lot of people who buy .357 mag J frame Smiths shoot VERY LITTLE .357 mag through them. Some do. If you want a .357 mag snub, try before you buy. Recoil is a very personal and widely variable preference.