I live in the country, just my wife and I (kids are finally all grown un), so not really worried about over penetration or anything of that sort. My main home defense is a Mossberg 590A1 loaded with 00 Buck with slugs in the side carrier. It's loaded, ready to run...I don't play that "you get a warning of me racking the slide before we go hot"...I know you're not supposed to be there, you know you're not supposed to be there, you came anyway and are obviously a threat.
Now, before anyone goes all up in arms about "shotguns are crap for defense"...my go to weapon when doing high risk boardings in the Gulf War (we had that little embargo thing going on and people did try to get a lot of weapons, explosives, ammo, and other items through) and during drug ops was a Mossberg 590. I know how to move in tight spaces with it, know how to handle it, and am intimately familiar with it. Play all the videos of poorly trained people with birdshot missing (regardless of what the commentator says) from whatever internet guru is in vogue this month, in the hands of a trained person it's deadly and extremely effective...especially in close quarters...first hand experience, not I analyzed a video, or a friend told me, nor any internet speculation.
For those saying but the range is short. So is my house and driveway. There is no need for 300yrd capability when trying to drive someone out and on their way and I'm not going chasing after them, that's the job of the police. If it turns into a standoff, well you don't really have a good defensive plan if you haven't accounted for that and moved to retrieve an alternate weapon (SBR in my case).
For Earl, 2 words. Auditory exclusion. When the adrenaline is running high, you may not even register hearing the shot. Yes, your ears will be ringing afterwards, but it's a protection device our bodies do during high stress, high adrenaline situations. On average, a 12ga is about the same dB as a typical handgun (.45acp, .40s&w, 9mm), though less than magnums (.357, .41, .44) or short barrels (2-3in).
For M1A4ME, we see the same as your example (people wanting 3, 3.5, 10ga, etc because of the reasons you listed) all the time down here in Louisiana deer hunting. Someone gets the newest, biggest, baddest, most powerful, fastest shooting rifle to take down deer...when really, their deer walked because of poor shot placement. Then, when they shoot them with these new behemoth round, they wonder why the deer went 50yrds then died, not realizing they're outside the performance envelope of the round...which in our area tends to be way to close of range for the velocity to drop off enough for the bullet to perform, ending up with it acting like a FMJ and just zipping right through.